Consistency is The Key To My Heart

I've recently discovered this novel idea. I've ruminated a lot over the last few years as to why I haven't had even one serious relationship since becoming single.  I moved out on my own in late 2007, and I became officially single after 26 and a half years of marriage in June, 2009. I've dated so much more than I ever would have thought I'd date...and it's because of one simple thing. It comes back to this one word-consistency.
I've dated men from different walks of life, different cultures, with small children, with no children, with grown children, men estranged from their children (a big no-no!), and the only common thread I can find is that none has chosen to show a consistency of interest. This one thing is how I as a woman, can tell a man is serious in his pursuit of me. When it's not there, I see that as well. I'll use a word picture to illustrate my point: Say you're an incredible baker. You've got tried and true, prize winning, delicious recipes. You use top ingredients, and you know your product. You're baking in your kitchen one day, and you get distracted. You add more of a dry ingredient than the recipe calls for, because you forgot what point you were at before the distraction overtook you. When it comes time to put your batter in to pans, tins, or other bake ware, you suddenly realize the consistency is off. It's too thick. Or, maybe you thought you added that dry ingredient, but you didn't. So, the consistency is too thin. Either way, that batter is off and the product it'll produce if you use it will be inferior. The simple baking lesson here is pay attention to where you're at in the recipe.
The same rules apply to life. Pay attention to the ingredients you add in to your life. When you settle for leavening with no leavening power left...your bread fails to rise. The consistency of the dough is off.
Our lives are not meant to be a cake walk by any means. But I believe we're given a brain and the ability to use it to try to make the best of the life we've been given. Does this answer make me any less alone? No, it does not. But what it does do, is nudge me to remember that unless there is consistency the effort being made is feeble. And, I don't know about you but if I am going to be pursued by someone romantically, it had better be more than a feeble, half-hearted attempt to capture me. Because if that's all he's willing to give when he's on his "best behavior"...in that 'getting to know you' phase, then I'll be unnoticed inside a relationship, and most likely taken for granted.
Before you think I'm talking about being in constant contact, just don't. It's not about that. That's suffocating. It's consistent daily contact, especially when you're first getting to know each other. As you learn more about each other, if the interest grows, I think the contact grows. That's logical to me. Where do you spend you time? That's where your passion lies.
For me, when I look at it this way, it becomes easier to understand why it hasn't worked yet. It's also easier to see how easy it will be to see when it does finally happen!