Where is Love?

There's a song from the musical "Oliver!" called "Where is Love?" I've sung this song since I was in about seventh grade or so.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjJDekSculo

Hoping that link works!

This pretty much sums up how I feel about this subject. I could make an endless parade of the "potentials" who've come through my life. Who really, when all was said and done, had no potential whatsoever.

Looking at love from a matured stance, (at least age wise), I realize it's never what you think it is when you're young. It's less. And it's so much more. It's not about being jealous, arrogant, selfish, rude, inconsiderate, impatient...but it is about sharing-your life, your ideas, thoughts, hopes, dreams, disappointments-and, it's about a pair of arms there to hold you at the end of long day when you walk in to your home, look around, and realize that this is where you belong...because home is wherever your heart rests. You understand that your heart can rest here, because it is safe. Wanted. Even treasured.

It's not the other person's attractiveness, it's their openness to being vulnerable to you that draws you. The amazing thing is this ends up making them more attractive to you, because of shared bonds, memories, both happy and sad, and a lifetime of coming to understand who that person is as an individual, and who the two of you are together as a couple.

If you have this, cling to it. Build it. Savor it. Protect it. If you don't...hold out for it, because this is what that ache is inside your heart. That deep down emptiness you feel that you won't admit you have most of the time, even to yourself. It's time to deal with this once you've come to terms with God's place in your life, the plan for your life that's unfolding even when you don't realize it, and once you can finally gauge the scope of the path you're traveling. This, for a lot of us, is what's missing. The equation is simple. You can absolutely go through life by yourself. People prove this on a daily basis. But we humans, well, we're social creatures. We need that interaction, thrive on it, truth be told. We enjoy the closeness and comfort that come from just knowing we have merit in someone else's eyes. not because of anything we've done but because they choose, daily, to love us.

So. Much News!

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

I suppose I know that saying by rote now.  It's Friday night, and I'm sitting on my couch again with my cats furnishing warmth and purring (known as motors, in my world), and feeling generally pleased. It's been an exhausting journey from November to now! My new job...there's just so much information! So much I simply don't know. I learn something new every single day...and wonder if I'll ever 'get' it fully. I work with some remarkable people who are very helpful and very, very patient!

My new car...well, this was one thing I wasn't planning on, but when someone smashes in to the back of your car and totals it....you get a new one. You also learn a new level of gratefulness for being alive, safe, and generally happy. I'm still driving a MINI, but it's three years newer than what I was driving, and it has 80,000 less miles on it. I walked away with some bruising. Kind of mind boggling.

I needed a place to stay....and (yet again) help moving. Enter, my family. My mom housed me for three weeks, my siblings and their families and my son showed to help me move not once, but twice. There aren't words enough to express my appreciation for their thoughtfulness.

Then...there's the house. My home. This place I get to turn the key to daily, lock the doors, and know that I'm not renting. I'm purchasing. I'm owning it, little by little.

I've told several friends that I feel like the luckiest woman around. Lucky....even while my bruises healed, my arms, shoulders, and back ached from unpacking, sorting through, hanging shelves, and putting together a piece of furniture that almost got the best of me! Lucky to have had such a great realtor, who found me a lender that was so very easy to work with, and who kept his word.

I'm in awe, really of how great my life is right now. And wondering what else could be around the corner. Planting flowers, mowing the lawn, sitting on my porch or deck (yeah, I have both!), and drinking in the sunshine, feeling more and more each day like this is mine, and understanding all that I've accomplished....and how many extraordinary people have been placed in my life who've helped me get to where I never thought I'd be.

My cats were so well cared for while waiting on my house! They've pretty much adjusted to our new home, though they might miss being as spoiled as they were when being kitty-sat! My new car lives in a garage! Pictures are on the walls, food is in the fridge, locks are changed, and I'm beyond thrilled. I'm still in shock over the events of the last few months!

If anyone reading this, anywhere, is looking at their life and thinking they just can't do it any more, all I can say to you is don't give up! Life changes on a dime, and you're suddenly surrounded by things you might never have even dreamt could be a reality!