Hearts & Flowers...?

I actually forgot Valentine's Day is coming up! I asked my son to come along with me to look at something this coming Saturday, completely missing that it's February 14th! It's been so long since I had a "sweetie", that it's just not something I pay attention to at this point in my life. Plus, dwelling on it too much would remind me that 7-plus years have rolled by, and I am still alone. I've gotten used to being alone. I certainly feel, for the most part, that I've flourished. I also know that somewhere there's a man I'm going to meet. I don't know when, and I don't know how...but, we will meet. And, it's going to be spectacular. Until that point, I can wait. When it happens...every day will be a possible Valentine's Day. I am slowly, painstakingly, getting my life in order. I've had some major and minor setbacks, but all those have done is help me prove to myself that I can do this. I can budget. Pay bills. Go to work. Spend time with my kids. Have dreams...and watch them slowly become reality.
That man I alluded to above? He's still in the dream phase. But he is there. I know it with a surety. And, because I know that I am worth waiting for, (however long his wait may have been), I know that he is as well. Being on my own has taught me so much...but mostly it's taught me self-reliance, and to recognize when I actually need help. That's a big thing, at least for me.
As I've mentioned in earlier posts, the dating scene is just not for me. I don't miss it. For me, it was a waste of time and effort, and I found myself meeting men I knew, even before I met them face to face, were not right for me. Releasing the feeling that I 'had' to be dating, gave me time to refocus energies on other areas of my life. It's tough, even at 50-plus, to understand that life is always going to be a learning process. That if we're living, we're changing. Growing. Becoming. When we embrace that lesson, we begin to be able to see beyond it. Until we embrace it, it's kind of like a huge monolith, that blocks out the rays of an otherwise brilliant sun. There is privilege, honor, and surrender in saying you love someone. That world only the two of you share, is a safe haven. The looks across a crowded room. Private jokes. And the joy of knowing your well-being is tied to that of another person. It's heady, powerful stuff, love!
To those of you reading this who have a sweetie this Valentine's Day...I'm truly happy for you! Sneak some stolen, special moments with them. Kiss them, just because. Do something unexpected for them. It doesn't have to be big, because anything you do to show the depth of your feelings for someone else, will garner its own appreciation. I don't want to forget Valentine's Day...because, I'm looking forward to the one somewhere in my future, where I know I'm going to get to spend it...with him! Happy Valentine's Day!