I Didn't Plan...

...to be single in my 50's. To be sitting, late on a Friday night, with only the company of a cat on my shoulder, purring. The only other noise discernible to me is the noise of the fan on my laptop & cooling pad. I didn't plan to spend so much time alone.
When I write that I have a good life...I mean it. I am housed, fed, clothed. I have a pet, hobbies, and my health. I have goals. Some I've had for several years now, and some are newer in my life-realm. All are relevant. All will be achieved.
If you're introspective (as I am), living alone, being alone, can help you plumb the depths of who you are. That person, deep inside...the one not too many people get to see, because it's risky to expose her. I've learned I'm far more self-sufficient than I'd ever known. That I'm okay on my own. In reflection-that raising my children is still the highest calling I've ever had, and that the swelling of my heart when I speak of them, see them, or think of them is just normal for this mom of adult children. That's another thing I didn't 'plan' for. The mixture of pain & pleasure I secretly feel when I observe the children I poured my life in to living, thriving, and being decent human beings. I didn't plan to go on so many dates I'd lose count. I also didn't plan to stop dating, because it just wasn't working for me. I didn't plan to fall in to a job that, most of the time, seems custom made for me, nor did I ever contemplate I'd be in a place where I could say, "I love my job!" (at least I do, most days.) I didn't plan to lose my dad before I turned 40, nor did I plan to watch my mom, only a few years after that, seemingly sit at the edge of death's precipice...but somehow not fall over it.
How often do you look at all your life plans, only to discover they've been reworked, redone, or that you've simply had to toss them aside because reality stepped in and showed you that you can't always plan?
Life is crazy sometimes, wouldn't you agree? We dream. We plan. We expect. We hope. And then...life happens. In its own idiosyncratic way, it dashes some of our dreams, yet in the same moment, throws open doors to possibilities that had never entered our minds...until we had no other choice but to think outside the box.