The Thanking Time

As a writer, I want a title to grab a reader's attention, so they want to see what's in the article. Sort of like wrapping a gift you really hope someone likes, then waiting in anticipation of their reaction when they open it!
I've gone through another of those periods when I just want to know why. Why can't I seem to find someone who just wants to date me, get to know me slowly, and make that slow journey of discovery to determining if this person is someone you'd want to consider forming a deep relationship with? But that time is now once again over. At least for a short while! What I keep re-learning....or maybe not so much re-learning as coming to a deeper, clear understanding...is that I am enough. This time of year leads me inevitably to self-evaluation. I take stock of where I've been, where I am, and where I want to be. I ask myself, seriously..."Why do you want a man in your life?" The answer is because each day I'm finding a clearer vision of who I am, and I understand that at some point, I'm going to want to share that with someone. Deeply. Intimately. Privately.
The conclusion I've come to is simple. I'm not ready yet. I can stand in one place now and say "This is who I am!" But there is also unfinished business. When someone comes in to my life, I want to be completely unfettered. Liberated from my past. Living my present as fully as I can, and looking with eagerness to a bright future.
How do I do this? I keep at my plan. That plan that took me to Florida (and back). That put me at the lowest point I've been in my life, but showed me as I grabbed each piton and scaled the slick walls, that I had the stamina and determination to get out of that hole! It's been filled in, gradually over the last two-plus years, but I still have some significant backfilling to do before it's completely re-filled. 
Being thankful, even for seemingly small things, helps change our attitude. It helps get our focus outward, and when that focus turns away from being so self-focused, it skews our world view. Our life view. And begins to help us define our place in the world.
I write...because it's a release. Words tumble around, unfettered, in my mind and it feels as if they must be tamed and released in (what is hopefully) some semblance of order. As we enter this dizzying time of holiday obligations, decorations, and celebrations...focus on what makes you, personally thankful. When you do...when I do, it's life altering. It's life affirming. And it forces your focus outward. Look for where you can be a blessing, even in a small way. Because what's small to you, may be momentous to someone else! Be thankful!