The Future

This is a very personal post. I want you, as my friends, to understand that I love my life. While I may not always be extremely happy with the outcome of some life choices, I like where I am, who I am, and the direction my life is taking. I look back, and I DON'T only see bad. I see good...and I see things that seemed bad at the time I was going through them. Those things have helped shape and define who I am today, so I am grateful for them. Do I have opinions? Ha! Oh, yes ...I do! Will I state them? You betcha! I have hopes, fears, dreams...don't we all? Each day I open my eyes, I feel blessed to be here. To have an opportunity to see what that day has to offer, and what *I* have to offer in return. There ARE days when I am achingly lonely. When I wish there was someone to come home to, who'd wrap me in his arms and tell me that I make it worth the struggle. At the same time, I am being taught. Patience. Tolerance. Understanding. I know myself more now than at any other point in my life. I have what I need. I don't have everything I want, but that forces me to make goals, to have ambition, to look in to the future. I've tried really hard to stop 'looking for the right person'...and to just become the right person.
I have a vehicle that's pretty trustworthy. Food in my belly. Heat. Running water. A pet. A job I like. Friends. A place of my own, and a lot of beautiful things in that place. I have three kids I am really proud of. Family who love me, and an unshakeable faith that there IS a God in Heaven. When you have the basics...everything else you get is simply a blessing. We're not promised an easy path. Being human...and real...ISN'T easy. But, it is totally worth the risks, and SO much easier than trying to hide behind facades and masks. I am not defined by whether or not I am 'in a relationship'...I am defined by what pours out of my heart.
Whether you, individually, believe that or not...it's the truth. My life attitude shows up in nuances...in my facial expressions, in my vocal intonations, in the words I chose to use or write...and so do yours! Many times during any given day, I force myself to truly look at what's happening, and find something good in it. Even if it's just small. that's where I've learned to be positive. There are times it is really, REALLY tough to do, and times when I just have a general feeling of 'blah-ness'. For me, it's all about focus. If I focus on negative, the resulting attitude is negative. If I focus on positive, the attitude projects from that.
So....IS there someone out there for me? I don't know! But, I'm excited to find out, and in the mean time, my ONLY responsibility is to work on being the right person, so that when he (yes, it WILL be a he), comes along, I'm as ready for him as he is for me. Counting my blessings, on a daily basis is where it all starts!