...is for children, right? I sit here, a few days before Christmas, typing by the glow of my Christmas tree. Wishing. Hoping. Dreaming. Waiting. Watching...far more than my single share of romantic, silly, formulaic Christmas movies. It's probably not good for me. Would I like Prince Charming-or at least my version of him, to step out of wherever he's been hiding, sweep me off my feet, and take my breath away? Of course I would! I'd hardly be the romantic I am if I didn't want that to happen.
Funny thing is, I'm a realist, too, and will fully admit that if I could, I'd choose fantasy over reality almost every time. I'm also grateful, because I know I've been blessed. My life is good. The last year has taught me that there are moments in my life that even as they pass by are markers. That I often don't realize this until I look back down the path I've just walked. It takes my finite mind a while to process the fact that good things-things I could barely imagine-can come from things that seem intent on tipping my life over.
The older I get, the more I understand that if I wait for what seems meaningful to me, or if I determine that only my vision of how things are is valid, I will miss opportunities to find something greater. That in my mostly self-focused life, I'm often so mired in the mirror of my own aspirations, I can barely tear my glance away, even for a moment, to see beyond it.
As blessing upon blessing pile up under the Christmas tree of my life...I look at the tag, smile at a brief thought of the Sender, and continue to dig through the pile. The inner me is so sure of that highest prize-how it's shaped, how it will be wrapped, and how unmistakable it will be-well, that's how I've been, at least for a few years. I purposely look past how beautiful my life is in the glow of the tree's lights. I don't even glance at the ornaments hung with great care, so they just catch the lights' reflection. Here-a cute little car. There, a house. Up a little further, a headset that represents a job I like and that I'm good at. Some old-timey post cards hang there as well, representing places I've traveled, and a couple of different cat ornaments, of course! Three breathtaking, intricate jewel-like ornaments, bigger than the rest, sit aloft my tree as well. They're multi-faceted, and twinkle no matter what the angle of my gaze. Nothing else adorning it bears my personal signature. But these three impossibly beautiful, uniquely precious designs are the focal point. My children's faces flash through each jewel, showing them in different stages of their lives. My heart swells in my chest as memories swirl.
I take a step back to catch my breath, and to realize anew that while I've accomplished a lot, everything else fades in comparison to the simple joy any of those faces, in close proximity brings me.
For me, no amount of dating, no romantic assignation, no man-who's-too-good-to-be-true can compare to having been part of three miracles. The best gifts I could have ever gotten came via pain, and struggle, and worry. The ends justified the means for me, and proved to me beyond the shadow of a doubt that there's Intelligent Design behind the chaos I call life.
Each person who reads this is a part of my tree. A glistening light. A strand of shimmery garland. You make my life beautiful, just as it is right now. I thank you for that, and I wish you a blessing-filled holiday season, and a New Year filled with limitless possibilities!
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