...do I matter?
Have you ever asked yourself this question? Ever wondered to yourself? Do you pause to only ask this if things don't turn out quite as you had expected them to? Or do you use it for introspection, a touch point or marker? Does what I do, how I choose to live, matter to anyone else but me? If I suddenly disappeared, would my absence be noticed or mourned? Or, would the business of life fill in the space left until there's really nothing there to show I was the least bit remarkable?
These are some of the thoughts that swirl around in my brain. I know, because of how I'm wired, that I personally need to revisit these questions, because I can get so tied up in myself, that I forget that the only thing that lasts is how we treat others. I spend a lot of time on the phone for my job. Because I don't have eye contact, I have no clue what the customer I'm speaking to is going through. My goal is to be a bright spot in their day. For the two to ten minutes they spend on the phone with me, they get a smiling voice. Why? Because sometimes, life just isn't fair. And while I can not change any of my customer's lives, I can choose to treat them with kindness, dignity, and respect. I can laugh with them. Empathize. And do my job to the best of my ability to help make that small part of their day a little more bearable.
I want my life outside of work to be the same. All of us touch so many more lives than we realize. Social media, especially, has shrunk our world in some ways, yet broadened the scope of lives we will possibly touch in our life time.
I spend a fraction of my 'free' time outside work, in a chat room for senior citizens. Most of them have been chatting since 'way back in the day'...when chat first started up. I'm a relative newcomer to it all, but in this group of people with diverse backgrounds, I have found a type of family. I found this room kind of by accident. I was tired of the same old, same old in other chat rooms. Drama, insincerity, insecurity, cliques, and churlish, childish behavior. I dropped in to this room and found a family.
They do not replace my family of origin, but I love them deeply. They encourage, protect, and cheer me as they see me fight...and win life victories. Most of them are old enough to be my parents! I find humor, understanding, wisdom, knowledge, and acceptance in this place. They tease me about loving the color pink, and beam with pride when I meet or exceed a goal.
For me, the most exciting thing this year will be when we all come face to face at a chat get together in mid-September. There will be laughter, teasing, hugging, a bit of tears, and for me, a general feeling of joy at having the honor of meeting so many people who see me as I would like to be! I'm looking forward to: Chat names & real-life names on name tags. Coffee...by the gallon! Eye contact. Conversations. Interpersonal connections and bonds that are strong now, will become even more so after spending time together in person.
So, do I matter? Yes! To my family, co-workers, customers, real-life friends, and online friends! I would be missed if I were gone...but, it's only because we, as a group, have taken the time to build in to each other's lives. To learn what is important to another person, and to cheer them on, even from long distances when we see them obtaining a goal. Each one of us determines, in ways we don't even realize, how someone else perceives us. For the most part, what you put out, is what you'll get back. Yes, I know there's always the exception, but don't let exceptions ruin your perception of everyone else. Find the life you want to live, pursue it, and embrace it as you go. The joy you get from simply doing this will be infectious!
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